The DNA of Relationships by Smalley Gary & Greg Smalley & Michael Smalley & Robert S. Paul

Author:Smalley, Gary & Greg Smalley & Michael Smalley & Robert S. Paul [Smalley, Gary]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Published: 2011-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

5. Be Trustworthy

When Bob Paul was eighteen years old, he worked as a handyman for a rich, eccentric psychiatrist. One day Bob’s boss sent him up to clean a skylight. Despite the tight fit, Bob dutifully started cleaning, armed with some noxious chemicals and a rag.

A short time later, the psychiatrist called Bob downstairs to help him move some things out of the living room. Bob woozily picked up a clay figurine to take it to another room, but he accidentally hit the toe of the statuette on a doorjamb. The leg fell off, clunk, and hit the ground.

The psychiatrist started waving his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs. “Do you have any idea how much that thing is worth? It is thousands of years old, and it’s worth thousands of dollars! Do you realize that one of the things that made this so valuable was its perfect, flawless condition? I can have this leg glued back on. But now, just by virtue of the fact that it has a crack, the piece has lost thousands of dollars in value!”

Because Bob did not see the figurine as valuable, he treated it carelessly and broke it. How much better it would have been to realize both its value and fragility than to act carelessly and thus cause irreparable damage!

The fifth step to safety in our relationships is to make sure that we are trustworthy in handling the delicate and valuable men and women with whom we want to deeply connect. In each of us lies something of staggering worth and value—yet that something is very vulnerable, easily damaged or devalued.

Trustworthiness is recognizing the value of someone and then treating that person accordingly. When we treat someone in a way that shows that we recognize both their incredible value and their vulnerability, we demonstrate our trustworthiness.

The kind of trustworthiness I have in mind has two parts:

Be trustworthy with others.

Be trustworthy with yourself.

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